I could never say I loved you,
we were too distant for that...
still, I did.
You weren't an easy man
to be close to...and I yearned
for that connection.

I saw you cry once,
out of illness and fear...
I went to hug you,
but you stiffened...
I could not comfort you,
that hurt yet I understood.

You were a hard man...
any illusions about that died long ago.
You were a bigot
and you cheated on my mother.
You were rarely there for me
except when you were.

Father...
I longed for something more...
a bonding man to man.
That never happened;
still I love you, I cannot help it,
you made me who I am.