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Aug 2020
home is reinventing yourself
                               over       and        over      and        over
                            ­                           to get it right
                                    struggling to put your life back together
                          playing catch up                  years behind
                                                      watching everyone go on without you
home is that gutwrenching terror
                       that freezes needles into your skin
                                         that has your hands trembling
         as he downs another drink
                home is an empty fridge while you starve
                                   alone in your room
                                                            ­         wishing you could end it all
                 home is empty bottles
                                       shattered against the wall
                                                        vomi­t painted on the floor
                                                                       like a monet
home is a disappearing act
          as you sink into your bed
                                                                     wishing you’d never woken up
                  home is the art of becoming invisible
                                                                              inconsequential
           as you sit alone on the roof
                           contemplating the fall
                                                                     wishing the wind would take you
home is lying awake crying
                                                       whi­le they sleep right next to you
                                           miles away in the same bed
                    home is hoping they’d kiss you more
                                                               hold you     more
                                                 love you                    more
                    home is falling apart in the shower
                                    desperately trying to make yourself want less
                       tearing your own skin apart
                                                           ­          hoping you'll finally do it
Oliver H
Written by
Oliver H  20/Agender
(20/Agender)   
46
 
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