On a rainy winter night, us equally as lonely and sober
Found each other like a match made in heaven.
You trying to get the ***** from me and me, just trying to get you.
We stopped as you held my hand and I kissed you.
Sure we had our ups and downs, but all I wish I could do is go back in time and find you on a different day,
On a different day when we could be together
On a different day when I would appreciate you
On a different day when I would say I love you.
I can’t deny you are the reason I cry myself to sleep every night, **** it doesn’t have to be this complicated, take my hand and we’ll surf this wave.
But all the miscommunication, me alone and sober or accompanied and drunk.
I let my guard down when I met you,
How could I not?
You were the girl of my dreams.
And at the end of every fight I cried because I just wanted you to be alive,
I was tired of meeting other personalities, I wanted my V and my V only.
I convinced myself we weren’t meant to be because that was easier,
Easier than saying I love you.

We don’t talk anymore and I doubt we ever will but in case you were wondering I’m good don’t worry,
I just...
Love the feeling of the blade too much,
How easily is cuts, like you through my heart.
I pull the handle back and let it bleed, as I watch from above, the cells of my “perfect self” slowly drip out.
I pour myself to sleep because it’s easier than imagining you moving on, and though you say it was hard, you will never understand what’s like to love someone who doesn’t give a **** about you.

Every time I cry I grab myself a bottle, and when I’m liquored up I feel it,
I feel it so strongly that I can point out the pain,
Don’t save me from myself, I’ve always been fine on my own.

I wish I could hold you one last time before I forget what’s like to love,
And don’t worry,
You always thought I drank too much,
You and my doctor both,
But I realized drinking won’t **** me, loving you will.