Torturing myself with memories of the past
I seek to understand what I hid behind my mask
And all my good intentions bore no fruit, they didn't last
I'm hear to learn my lessons from a class I didn't pass


Over and over I'm playing the tape through
To learn all my patterns and see why I hate you,
I hate me
Projecting my failure, my anger, mistrust
Watching my lies turn my future to dust
Pushing myself till I'm over the edge, but I don't touch the ground
I'm falling and screaming but don't make a sound
The depths of my madness is where I will drown
Only in chaos will answers be found
Only through breaking will I be unbound
Only in silence will I hear the sound


I see myself, a product of wasted potential, an addict to the tragic, a pinnacle of pain
These moments I've been through have rewired my brain.
Im happy then sad, forget what feels normal and fearful of knowing true peace with myself
Expecting the worst
Seeking acceptance from others in place of my own
If they knew what I knew, then they'd hate me too.
I'm awesome but ****, worth loving but easy to hate
I'm honest and peaceful but just for today,
I bounce off the walls, can't get out if bed
I'm praying for answers to take me right out of my head


They speak to me.


All the distractions will take you from soul
All of the money will not make you whole
The gifts of the past pave a way for the future and all of the demons we fear live on earth
Poisoning children addicted from birth
Models and beauty corrupt their self worth
Men on a mission to strip all the Earth of her essence
We struggle to live and then burn out like stars on the weekend
Do you love what you do?