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Jul 2020
Blue, such an enchanting and bewitching colour
Being able to lure even the hungry gulls to follow
And give people the strength to go on in this world

For an artist to engrave an image in our minds
To help young ones find their path through the vines
To inspire a victim to release her spirit from the pit, wherever it hides
Giving life full meaning and see something else besides the contour of the sides

Yet, that sacred hue seems to bring me only horror
Filling my core to the brim with despair and anger
So much I want to put that lone rope on the hanger
Be silence with a swift move of a finger
Applause!
For tonight is my last time as a sovereign singer in front of all of you

Now, despite my love and moral right
My heart was shattered, its pieces cruelly scattered
Azure and violet lingers on my surface that once a refined look held
So the monster could be discharged from the misery it felt
Obtuse to the fiends it sends to win over my pelt till tomorrow due

The striking blue in its eyes that was found dreamy
Was just a snare for someone as delusional as me
Tore the flesh and meat protecting my pride that was soon to be
Taking away all of my licit sociality

Weeping flimflammery behind a vague breath
I fumbled and curl up in the dark in my dread
Eyes moist and cheeks stamped with a watermark
The blue everyone sees as breathtaking losing spark
And as my muscles began to stark
I awaited the moment where it would stop with the snide remarks

"Why are you useless in time of need!?
Stupid *****, nothing will ever fulfil your greed!"

Is that how you were going to treat me?
With cusses and heavy thrusts?
Ponding on and on until I became nothing but bones and organs mushed
If I try to wail or scream for you to stop
Another punch in the gut knocks out my air and my body thumps like a wet mop

I look in the mirror and I want to rend my eyes
Be blind, erase the person standing before I
With bruises and marks littering
Proving irreversible indication of its iniquity

Depletion, hysteria, fury, strikes me harder than it
I find it hard to stand on my own two feet
Teeth chewing and munching on as I continue to bleed
Remising of how I was just a kid

An innocent image bearing no dreed
Wishing nothing from her parents but more feed
So that my bones aren't as stiffed
Maybe then I'll be more gifted
More desired and loved
Like the blue was to me a long time ago
Written by
Satan Dark  18/Trans Male/Bulgaria
(18/Trans Male/Bulgaria)   
68
     --- and Debra in Silence
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