i have this deeprooted fear
                        that someday it’ll stop
                 that everyone i love
          will tire of me
    and my constant state
                                         of falling apart

the fear tugs at my soul
           aches in my bones
      until i go numb
                   buried in the sheets with you
              desperate to make you stay
       it makes my hair stand up
  my stomach go sour

i want to run away
                            so bad it hurts
                    because i’ve learned
           to settle for a glass half empty
    to ruin good things
                                 before they ruin me

i’m playing a losing game
                                pretending this is viable
               wasting away just out of reach
                                                         out of touch