I wonder when I'll stop being so insecure.

I thought I already had
But it creeps its way back into my mind
Like the roaches in the cabinet

I wonder when "I have to go" will stop meaning "I don't love you anymore" and when I'll be done lying awake crying about things that haven't happened
haven't happened yet?

I wonder when I'll look at my body and not want to eat, when I'll take a picture and not want to grimace
Because then at least its on purpose

When will I learn how small talk works? Or feel comfortable in a crowd when I'm sober? Or feel comfortable with anyone?

I feel so at ease when it's light outside, what is it about the dark that makes it feel like I'm falling?

I know I love you and I know you love me, so why is it so hard to think of you liking me?