So here I am
Once again
Trying to drown
My awful thoughts
With the bottle of *****
I hold so close to me.

Lighting cigarette
After cigarette
Hoping the the smoke
I hold in my lungs
Will replace the emptiness
I have inside me.

But each sip of *****
Fuels more and more
Undesirable thoughts
And each inhalation
Of cigarette smoke
Reminds me I'm still alone.

I slip slowly into
A drunken stupor
And shed my tears
Like I would shed my skin
And when I wake up tomorrow
I will be as good as new.

This is my ritual
To **** myself
And be reborn the next day
Whenever the burden
Is too heavy
And I need a clean slate.