A local lady would be nice, to reach my ****** peak
***'s, Gilf's and ****'s, and girls with extra cheek
You don't have to be a model, with an hourglass physique
I'm not concerned about your looks, or if your fat or sleek

If you are a willing female, then I would not hesitate
Entice me with your nakedness, and through your garden gate
Whether you are young and slim, or old and overweight
That doesn't really bother me, when we kiss and copulate

Big birds that need stuffing, old ladies with grey hair
I am not superficial, and I really do not care
Borrow me for favours, take me deep inside your lair
Invite me round I'll be discrete, and you can strip me bare

It wouldn't matter if your a *****, or an ugly looking skunk
Or if your a smoking crack *****, or an alcoholic drunk
As long as we can go *******, and squirt our lovely *****
And you don't mind an average Joe, that's not much of a hunk ?

******, swingers and brash chavs, bent over kitchen sinks
Inhibitions will be lost, after one or two more drinks
Fluids flow but I'd still go, into a hole that stinks
If I went there I would not care, what anybody thinks

If your hygiene is lacking, I'd just think what the hell
A sweating body against mine, with a ***** that works well
Extra **** is always good, when both of us can jell
Our pheromones would be increased, and I really love the smell

I may not be that handsome, or the cream of the crop
But getting older does not mean, these activities should stop
Take me any way you want, doggy or ******* top
Forget about party balloons, because the rubber will go pop

****, oral water sports, they would be such a treat
Especially in the same town, next door or the same street
Young maidens might be succulent, but they'd still have to compete
With the obese and elderly, because their so tasty and sweet

Don't waste time just searching, if you really want a man
Lifes too short to hesitate, lets get it while we can
**** mothers are just fine, as well as your Nan or Gran
And obese cougars are ideal, I'm a fat old woman fan

Large ladies are most welcome, so are haggard drunken tarts
And grannies that are ******, who perform in carnal arts
I wonder should I advertise, in Exchange and Marts ?
With all of the old bangers, and neglected lonely hearts