i wonder if you know what it's like to be them
to have to carry your hands on the sides of your body
because keeping them in the pocket of your hoodie would lead to speculation
that you're carrying a weapon you're in no possession of
eyes on you wherever you go
warnings made over the radio
demands from behind you
"hands over your head where i can see them"
the sound of incoming sirens cue a scene they're far too familiar with
as you sit in the audience, row M, popcorn in your hand, watching the star in suspense
“but officer I’m not carrying a weapon, look—“
…
Boom.
suspicion is justifiable for a bullet hole in their chest
does that same rule apply to you?
…
i wonder if you know what it's like to be in the presence of another
and sense the shift in their body as they do their best to distance themselves from you
because apparently there's an imprint across your forehead that screams:
DANGER
...
you probably don't
because it is you who shifts uncomfortably
clutching a little tighter to your purse and wallet
...
who was the first person who told you to stay away?
…
i wonder if you know what it feels like to have expectations already made for you
they are nothing in comparison to the ones you are assigned at birth
they are nothing like the expectations you are molded into as a child
because unlike them,
you are told you can accomplish anything
you are told you can fight for what you believe in
with no repercussions
you are told you can become whoever you want to be
and you never doubt it
unlike you,
they are the ones placed under the knees of blue in suffocation
another byproduct of history
the expectations placed on them are ones that have been running through the vines of their family tree ever since its seed was planted on this foreign soil
...
they very same ones that deem them
inferior
lazy
dangerous
...
all attributes used to create a segregation amongst us people
a definitive fine line
that if one oversteps
proclaiming unity and equity among us all
prepare for the raise of a hand
a baton enwrapped by fingers who are supposed to instill peace
they've reigned terror on the same people they're assigned to protect
a contradiction, wouldn't you agree?
"Land of the Free"
then why are so many of our people expected to succumb to oppression and dehumanization
why'll the rest of us reside comfortably in our luxury and privilege?
without worry of an invasion
8 shots released in deep sleep
"wrong house" they said...
but this is america
right?
...
i wonder if you've lived life being told you'll fall under the same pattern as your ancestors
that there is no way of breaking the chain
...
i wonder if you know what it feels like to be treated as a token everyone loves displaying for attention
but when the moment comes to fight their truth
...
that attention ceases to exist
...
i wonder if you realize your duty in this fight for justice
but if you don't
i congratulate you
...
you've lived a life safe and sound
away from interrogation
fear
strictness
alertness
you've lived a life where the color of your skin does not predict your destiny
it's formed a shield
a layer that obliterates
accusation
gunshots
abuse
neglect
and prejudice in its most destructive form
...
to be born in this nation as white is the equivalent of getting a head start in the 400m relay we call life
running gracefully with the most opulent shoes for support
jumping over hurdles with an effortless ease
coached by the best of the best
your privilege awards you the golden ticket
tell me
why are you so reluctant in using it for justice?
-c. alejandra