I’m spiralling.
Heading nowhere but down,
With each curl getting tighter,
And the pull getting stronger.
I’m losing control,
In a way not typical to most.
My emotions evade me.
I’m numb.
I held them in for so long,
And felt them slowly going deeper,
But I couldn’t bear to retrieve them,
Before they were gone.
Now, only remnants remain.
I speak of immorality with such disdain,
Only because I’m ashamed.
Ashamed of who I was,
And who I’ve become.
I can’t help but be critical,
Because everything I do holds weight.
Not just on myself,
But on those around me.
A weight that I’m struggling to carry.
I’ve already dropped so much,
And so I remain stationary.
Immobilized by the fear,
The fear of losing more.