maybe
just maybe
if i had a mother figure growing up
one who didn't just leave
two kids behind
who tried to take her own life
and leave it to my father to
save her
if she tried to fight it
the depression
the anxiety
all of it
the depression and anxiety she left me with
both of which i fight every day
and grow from it
maybe
just maybe
i wouldn't be so
messed up
but i guess i will never know
the damage has been done
the scars have been given

as for trying to contact me out of nowhere
on my
16th birthday
never
ever
try to contact me again
you have done enough

leave me be