I thought for sure the weight had been lifted
that I would finally be able to hold
the breath in my lungs,
the food in my stomach,
and the thoughts in my head

except now I'm smothered
breath panicky and restrained
food filed in the trash
thoughts spinning spider's webs

was it the barbed fangs
or the spear-like horns
that drove you away from me?
was it the painted smile
and delayed laughter?

then my head was diluted with worries,
laced with lies,
high on just the mere idea of you

and now there's this void
swirling in my stomach,
the same infinitely expanding blackhole
that my science teacher said
devoured all light

Maybe I'm more of a monster these days,
being viewed by spectators
through tunneled vision

or maybe, for once,
what I'm seeing in the mirror is the ever so faint
outline of a human...