If humans were meant to be
carnivores then haemorrhoids,
constipation, suppositories or
****** laxatives would never
have needed to be invented.

Animal protein is an articulated
truck in a narrow windy country road
where herbivore grass is growing
up the centre like a crease in groomed
hair, going to to a baby's christening.

Sometimes adventurous bovines
that have heard about greener pastures
the other side of the fence, end up
grazing between the hedge rows,
thus bringing the lorry to a halt.

No amount of shooing or even mooing
is going to shift the blockage and there
is no way round it neither, a pile up
occurs as more traffic arrives along the
single lane road with no lay by.

It is almost as if the driver has taken
his load into a Cul de Sac, cursing and
swearing ensues and there is no hope
of reversing, this is a full on pile up
while meanwhile the cow chews the cud.

This call for GPS, some sort of assisted
space suppository guided system via
satellite instruction from head office
where the load was initially discharged
to locate a drover to solve the impasse.

Once the obstacle has been herded, the
bowel begins a snail pace all the time
watching through the windscreen at the
phenomenon of a an animal ******* and
walking at the same time, it's amazing.

Mind you, vegans and vegetarians can
almost do that, but have you ever listened
to Carnivores grunt in public cubicles or
have you ever taken note of how little time
vegetarians take to evacuate the windy road?


Ps.

And no splash!