If I learn to turn off all the lights,
And return things where I found them,
And train to catch things as they fall,
(And then to not drop them at all)

If I learn to be so ever-loving,
Kind, not crude, not shoulder turning,
Predict the cuts that I could claw,
(And then not make the cuts at all)

If I learn to truly be content
And spend the days not feeling spent
Swallow resentment’s bitter call
(And forget bitterness forevermore)

If I learn to live outside myself
Learn to re-align myself,
Remove venom from my teeth-myself
Live a normal life myself
Begin to sanitise myself
Stop retreating to the dark, myself
Retract my knives and fists myself
Pull delusion from my eyes myself





Would I still be me at all?