then

i wished i did not have to go
or be the things, the way they wanted

at this age it is mostly fine, except when
my mouth blurts things i hoped i had
only thought

it is a state of affairs

i write about those days sometimes, the
better bits mostly. nowadays i can do
mostly as i please being an adult with

my own choices

and not mind too
much if they think
i am nuts

some days i do mind
and feel sad

i am booked on a trip and find
some from the village coming
too

that feels a bother
i am used to the
company of strangers

being strange myself