why do i keep choosing non productive, destructive relationships, replaying fatal mistakes like a *******. am i drawn to the familiar, the comfort of my original wound. do i want to fix it, re-shape it, or just except and wallow in it.  

i needed to be loved, wanted to be loved, craved to be loved, yet was, abandoned, tossed aside, and rejected, to die alone, in the wilderness, ostracized by my tribe, my primary care giver.

social rejection diminished my worth, destroying my self-esteem, my confidence crushed by a string of failures, i fell into the black hole of suicidal ideation and depression.

i seeked my mother’s acceptance, so i chose you, the cliché, of a man marrying his mother, i recreated all the conditions, insuring the lethality of constant rejection.

i struggled to uncover the source of my neurotic behavior, finally i regained the strength, the confidence to push away the she-devils who were dangerous.

i chose a new path, made different choices, recognized, avoided the irresistible succubus. now i see, endless possibilities, none of which are fated.