i’ve begun to learn i change like the seasons.
in spring, i come awake in the thaw. water trickles from my skin, i can dance & laugh again. i am leaping, blooming like a flower after buried so long beneath the snow.
i breathe. i am free.
in summer heat i am feral and alive. shining under bright sun i burn & my skin peels away in rivulets to reveal who i am meant to be. the sunflowers still turn to the sun, but their eyes are always watching me.
i create. i am peace.
in autumn i am cloaked in nostalgia laced melancholy. my leaves are shedding one by one in bright burst colour to blanket the Earth. fire laced borealis preparing for the freeze.
i release. i am bare.
in winter, the cold comes, and i break. my skin cracks open like sorrow & i bleed. covered over with snow, concealed, hidden, lost in subzero. isolated behind ice my eyes turn blind. i know myself no longer.
i cannot hibernate with no home.
i am hollow.
the groundhog sees his shadow. the sun shines on me no more. i am dim, faded, hidden behind glassy eyes.
i will warm again.
but when?
when?
when?
breath turns to frost in my lungs, to flower petals, sand, leaves. i choke & vomit all that i had been, have become.
i begin from where i began, again.
i am changed.