she can’t ******* love you back, you’re a good for nothing, useless ******* *****! why in all hell would someone as good as her ever ******* love you. useless pig.

why are you thinking about her again, you’re the villain in this story. stop feeling pity for yourself, you’d forgive her if she wanted it.

she won’t die, it’ll be okay. but what if she dies in her sleep and can’t ever say goodnight to you guys again, or i love you, or-

you can’t take back what you’ve said! they won’t forgive you, no matter how many times you say “i’m sorry,” or “it’s not your fault!” or “she was just there for me when you weren’t” or some ****. no one’s gonna forgive you! they won’t forgive you because you. don’t. deserve it. and they hate you, everyone else does. sensitive, insensitive *****.

i want to throw up. i need to throw up. it’s so big, your stomach? wow, you probably gained 10 pounds today! what are you now, 30 pounds overweight then? you’re just dense, right? well, maybe personality wise, but physically? you’re just fat! what muscle? that’s probably a tumor, maybe get that checked out cuz whoa, a kid like you would NEVER have muscles, like, how?!

but i can’t let any of this get to me, because i’ve been the happy one! the one that has to help them, that feels it their duty to help and make everyone happy even if i’m not, so stop crying, stop feeling, unless it’s happy tears or happiness. you can do it! now do it.