I write this with pain in my heart and my voice caught in my throat.
I often wonder why I never stand up for myself, why am I constantly pushed around?
By lovers, by family, by friends.
Am I the issue? I couldn't be.. I give my heart to everyone I meet
So maybe that's the problem.. I'm too kind
I'm too giving.. I'm too caring.
Why don't I put myself over others for once?
Why do I continously put myself into positions where I grieve over people who don't even think of me?
People who have never checked up on me, who don't care for me.
Why am I so kind and loving to the wrong people, yet afraid and nonchalant with those I should be treating with love?
I don't understand me, I don't understand why I do what I do
Why I am the way that I am
I wish that I was less loving to others, and there for myself more
Each day that passes, that I'm in this environment
Stuck with people who only care about me for the show of the community, rather than their own hearts
I feel like I am losing myself more and more
I feel like a disappointment, I feel like a burden
I feel like I'm in pain, I feel like I'm hurting
Sometimes I just feel that I could end it all
Be reunited with the only human that has ever loved me correctly,
My father. Of course he's dead though right.