Why am I always being doubted
Seems like for years I have been trying to redeem myself
Impress others by becoming my best self
Be proud of my own self, yet it seems like nothing works
To everyone I am a disappointment, a burden
And I am always going to be.
No matter how many times you may tell me that it's not true
Or that I'm a blessing, an angel.. I won't believe it.
I'm tired of being here, I'm tired of this cruelty of life
For years I have been searching for happiness, for years I was searching for my identity
I thought I found myself only to just lose myself again, like this is some cycle.
I'm writing this poem with tears in my eyes and pain devoted in my heart
I am hurting, and I've been hurting for a while
Yet I keep my feelings hidden for the satisfaction of others.
Why am I always living for others?
Is it so hard to just live and not worry about anything
It's like my anxiety finds the smallest reasons to feast through my mind
Nibble through my brain and leaving my heart torn
I am in pain, emotionally
I am in pain, physically
& I am in a lot of pain, mentally.