What some call torture I call Nirvana. What others see as depraved, I see as enlightening. With each lash of the whip, I am more sober. With each turn of a ***** I am better for it. As the voltages is cranked, my focus becomes ever clearer. What to some is agony, to me it is ecstasy. I make no apologizes for what I need to feel. I do not make known what keeps me alive. In secret places and in seclusion I seek solace. With whom I share my desires is of no ones concern. Just know that to be what others call normal, I need pain to set me free of my demons.