The Sun
Is keeping me
Alive.
(Killing me
on the inside)
A flaming candle
In the lonely void
of space
Screaming “SHOULD”
I s h o u l d be
Normal.
Outside.
Having.
Fun.

Instead I am
Crying
(i n d o o r s)
Memories
Racing past
Panic and anxiety
Taking.
Complete.
Control.
Why can I not work
Or speak
To anyone
Why can I not think
Or go outside without
Teary eyes?
My cold skin cannot be shown
To anyone or
Touched by sunlight

So I sit in the silent darkness
Of my room wearing an
Old hoodie and thinking
About
How the summers seems
To last forever and
Why I freaking exist and
....
How can everybody be so happy
All the time
Always smiling
While I'm just
Slowly dying
On the inside.
I guess
The only good thing
That comes out of summer
Are the blooming sunflowers
Surrounded by the smallest sparrows
Growing in the backyard.