there's a certain
magic in the feeling
of awe and that
one moment where
everything seems
to be brighter
than the ink spilled
past of-                          d a r k n e s s  and-
(hidden misery)

If I ever had
a single wish,
I would ask
for 30
cut seconds
half a minute
of nothing
Non-existence
And a trip back
To the stars
An empty desert
And endless blue sky
That odd feeling of
Freedom at last
Because-

Time won’t stop
No matter how hard
I try and force it
I can’t let go of this life
Without the guilt ripping
Me to shreds and
My mind drowning
In my half-finished
Thoughts running
Past my inner self
The one trapped
On an endless path
Flowing with relentless
Wind, eyes wide
Open.
I don’t
Want to die.
Not yet I have
Too many dreams
Passions and
Longings and people
I would not want
To leave behind
I just want to
Not exist
For a time.

For centuries now
the meaning is lost
the meaning of
life/
existence/
everything/
why we still
live.

Maybe there isn't
one or that's
just what we're
supposed to
think?

is it possible
to breathe
but not exist?
are we all just
particles made
of nothing?

How am I supposed to
Express this monstrous
(beautiful?) feeling
Inside my aching heart in just-
14 lines? 9 lines now
I think about your ocean blue eyes
Every night I feel alone
I need to hear your voice calling
My name to keep myself from going
Insane like the way you move your hands
When you speak oh so passionately about
Everything, the universe, you’re in love
With the world but not with  M E
I love you (?)

Some say they are
a sign of weakness.
Of broken pride and
i n s a n i t y .
But almost
no one
can truly realize
the slight beauty
of a single, falling
tear and the freedom
It brings us.
No one notices that
a small universe
lies in each one
holding stars brimming
With light between
the endless void
of ink.

Tears do not
make us any less
Human,
But more so.
They are an act
of rebellion.
of defiance.
The next step to forever
shattering society’s
stereotypes and laws.
Courage hidden
inside our very eyes.
Emotions aren’t
supposed to be feared.
or buried deep inside
our chests, held in glass bottles.
Or someday they
will overflow and make us
suffocate.
They are to be respected
just like loyalty and love.
Cherished like
old memories.


This is not only
an ode to tears,
but an ode
to the people
who shed them
in the midst of night.

I do not remember
when you didn't-
hunch over me in class,
building a cage in my mind
(Which became my prison)
Controlling my every move
And softly whispering
lies into my ears

You've kept me
(a barrier from the others)
from making the changes
I desperately-
needed and the decisions
I had to make to
b e  h a p p y ?
What is-
H A P P Y ?
I know the dictionary
definition but not what it
feels like to be
h a p p y.
Because.
Of.
You.

Get out
of my freaking mind
already
I'm going
I n s a n e because I
can't talk to him
or be with them
or even walk normally
In the hallways
with you here.
Just
leave.