Off course it was destined to happen
when you have some do-gooder saps next door
they keep on borrowing money you don't pay back
you break their door down and they did nothing
you harass, you put **** on their dogs, you vandalized their car
they rose above it all, who the hell do they think they are
then you put the 'shake down on them and they laughed
com'on, what else to do, you go in for the ****

So it came to pass
cold January morning
went out for the  dailies, Mrs had left for work
barely 20 minutes gone, from the street could see our front door ajar
Oh, forgetful Mrs, probably forgot something, had dashed back
got nearer, no car in usual parking space, run upstairs
all the electronics gone, money left on cabinet gone
new triple-system video gone, we've been robbed
Never been burgled before, a very new experience to me
do people actually do things like this, wow, unbelievable
in early morning daylight as well, wow. oh dear, what the f--king hell
mobiles not yet small portables thing, landline ripped out
wow, wow, wow I went from room to room
then went out to the veranda outside
guess who's there smirking, Mama Capone herself
well people, I am cool, but this was now a step too far

I lost my rag and exploded
how dare you effing cheap common thieves burgle us
how could you be so base, ungrateful, gross and vile
look at you, you don't work, spend yours effing day drinking
and drugging while people like us go out to earn an honest living
you are a scrounger, a total waste of space, a total disgrace
how ****** dare you, you ungrateful amoral trash
and more
it was double barrel stuff, I saw red, I bent over backwards
to live and let live
I have given all I could, I had been generous and charitable
and this pounce think they can do this, no way
I told her her story and it wasn't a pleasant read

To say she was shocked was an understatement
they had only known this cool quiet fellow and his small dainty wife, who looked like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth
they expected a cowered man, softened up by their antics
They got a Mau-mau warrior in full pelt, a Tiger roaring thunder  
I was mad, I wasn't having this no more
( it has since gone down in folklore history, they all talk about his temper )
with me its easy, its don't trouble trouble or if you do, then
expect trouble to trouble you, right back

Mama Capone suddenly realized you can't judge a book by its cover,
She went ashen white you could see the shock in her eyes
she was shaking and trembling
but Mama Capone recovered enough to mutter something about
its Bobby,she stammered, I was still effing and blinding in her ugly face
I am going to have you evicted, I said, you and your family
have been nothing but trouble from the minute you arrived

You're the foreigner. Mama Capone replied, you are the one
that's going to be sent back to your jungle, the racist ***** replied
but it was days before Hate Crime Laws, it was not today
East London in those days had '**** Out' on all walls
Asian kids were harassed and beaten up regularly, Asian men
went out in pairs and never walked the street at night,
black men carried cutlasses and were mostly belligerent

I, carried a copy of the Guardian and never experienced Racism
I was everybody's friend, was colour blind, I was just that kind of guy
Until now...until now.....until now
More was to come, I had stood up and called out thieves and gangsters, now, I was told I was going to be taught a lesson
in the University of Life

Mama Capone had scuttled off into her hovel, shaking and trembling
In a red mist, I went to look for a Public phone to call the Police
and my wife
Now...the dye is cast....its war
but not my war!