St Patrick was conman,
a shyster, and a rogue.

He almost  pulled a fast one,
on the folks of Tir na Nog.

He tried to sell the locals,
what he described as ****,

But it was grown at Lysaghts,
from greyhound cabbage seed.

Then he took it further, by
ridding the land of snakes,

a stunt that didn't go down well,
in the paradise of the rakes.

Finnbar Rubens took a stance,
a challenge to the Bishop Pat,

He built a garden out the back
where the ****** often sat.

It's a land of Saints and Scholars
where they never mention thieves

In Dublin they have their Strumpets
but in Mallow we have our Eve's.