It’s hard to love someone so dangerous
It’s hard to remember all the things she has done to you
And still, have to be able to forgive her
To not love her but not hate her either
But you do both
You don’t mean to
You can’t forget the bad things
But there were also so many good things
Like morning talks when she got home from work
Like holding her small frame at night when I had nightmares
Of her kissing me on the cheek
Of giving me bad advice
I used to think she was so weak and helpless
That I had to protect her because she couldn’t protect herself
But when I did and I got screamed at and manipulated and verbally abused
I didn’t get a thank you
I didn’t get a favor back
Next time when it was me, I had no one
She was the mother
She should have been protecting me
She should have loved me so much that her instincts would take over
And she wouldn’t be as scared anymore
She’d do something
Stand up for me at least once
Tell someone what was going on
But she didn’t
She loved him more
Because she couldn’t be alone
She was so weak that she couldn’t stand
Unless she leaned on someone tall
Even though she had two support beams struggling to keep her upright
She still needed him
She still needed any man who made her feel less than she should
She loved any man who hated the ones who loved her most
She chose him
She believes him
She loves him
Stop loving her
Stop hating her
Stop thinking about her