i am a fallen angel

i no longer can fly
my wings reduced to brittle bone

i am burning and freezing
from fire and ice alike

my wings have been scorched by the flames of hate
my heart has been molded to cold solid stone

my head hurts from overthinking
my hands hurt from overdoing

i feel so lonely

i wish i knew if someone truly loved me
the people around me say they do
but its so easy to lie

i feel so broken

chaos fills my thoughts
and spills onto these keys

i feel so worthless

i feel so tired

i feel so sad

'its all inside your own head'
they say
then why do i feel
like the darkness
is surrounding me physically ?

i can't wait to die

i don't want to experience the nothingness
so i choose to believe
but its still scary....

what if, what if
there is nothing after this?
this droning toil ends
and there is nothing to look forward to

but what if, what if
i missed my chance
if there actually is something out there
yet i, a broken being,
am not good enough

i dont think i met the standard
i dont think i will ever get there

im only a fallen angel
why would anyone love me ?

im only a fallen angel
why do i deserve anything ?