Sometimes
When I am sad
I think of you
And the broken English you used
When your alcohol level
Betrayed your defenses
And allowed my memory to slip through
When you told me how you felt
As I lay in that darkened room
And you were just an unruly shadow
But I still flew with you.
I was too young then
To know how it would end
So I believed in you
As children are often wont to do
Until another text
Different in intent
Showed me why
A beautiful lie
Is preferable to
An eloquent truth.

Sometimes
When I am sad
I think of you
And the shirt you wore
That night, and the way your sweater
Hung off your shoulders
And how you never looked better
Out of a uniform;
And I remember your smell
And the clash of sterile linoleum
With your musky aftershave
And it makes me sadder to know
You were the only man
Known by my nose
And the only one
Never to let it go.

Sometimes
When I am sad
I think of me
Then, with my red coat
And jeans, flashing a smile
Because your eyes agree
That I look pretty
And that was the first time
A man had ever spoken to me
Wordlessly, with a language I could
Understand, although now I can’t
Remember the words
To the conversation.
And at night I try to remember
Was it February or November?
But all I know is
By December
The language I knew was dead.

And when I am sad
I cannot get
The words you said
Out of my head.