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I’m too tired,
Don’t wake me,
From this sleep,
What can I do,
Yell and shake my fist,
I brush my teeth,
And tie the handcuffs to my wrist,
I'm just another,
cog in the machine,
I go to work,
I rinse and then repeat,
Seconds pass,
And days turn into weeks,
I tell myself I’ll make them count,
And I believe my own deceit,
Like words writ on concrete streets,
These are things I can’t delete,
Just pretty please,
Can you leave me be,
And let me sleep,
I sowed doubt,
And this is what I reap,
Just five more minutes,
Let me think,
And let me steep,
I got so busy dreading work,
That I drank to fall asleep.
I don't know what to do,
they're asking me questions,
it all feels so new,
is it all just a test,
they're looking to me,
and I'm doing my best,
I have no experience,
my knowledge is sparse,
I am delirious,
I am a mess,
I'm drinking again,
to control the stress,
back on my *******,
like I never left,
back to my old self,
like I never changed,
I'm dreading tomorrow,
it's coming so soon,
I'll call myself lucky,
if I make it to noon.
Work is stressing me out, and I'm doing things that I wasn't hired on to do. Hope you all enjoy. If you're stressed out, you're not alone, friend.
For weeks now,
the rain is incessant,
There is a sickness within,
dark and unpleasant,
and it festers,
half in the past, stuck in the present.

It is within me,
this illness not spoken,
I was a boy,
that is now broken,
I am a man,
not yet awoken.

I have not seen the sun,
I cannot feel warm,
I have not left the house,
I cannot be harmed,
I keep to myself,
and I snooze the alarm.

I feel it again,
like all hope is lost,
Like a window,
all covered in frost,
I don't know what I want,
or how much it costs.
The world is yours,
Nas whispered to me,
And I'm still trying,
but I don't see any achievements,
I am afraid to work hard for nothing,
I am afraid of commitments,
and airplanes,
and driving,
and student loans,
and being alone,
and living paycheck to paycheck,
like my father did,
and I know our paths are different,
but I wish for the path of others,
to walk in their steps,
I guess I'm afraid of making my own,
and to take the world,
because what would I do with it,
I don't even know what do with myself,
I couldn't tell you what I want,
I am afraid to know,
what if what I want,
is out of reach,
what if the world,
is not mine,
and if it isn't,
because it's probably not,
then what does it mean,
the land of opportunity,
but I can't find my own,
maybe I am afraid of looking,
that would make sense,
I went to school,
that's what they told me,
and now what?
the jobs aren't coming,
the phone isn't ringing,
the debt collectors are though,
my mom did though,
but I wouldn't loan her money,
it was for school,
I was afraid she wouldn't pay it back,
what does that make me,
don't tell me,
I continue my path,
wherever it takes me,
and where it doesn't,
I am not afraid of that,
but I am of failure,
and it lurks in the depths,
waiting for me.
Little littered liter bottles of liquor on the balcony,
My girlfriend said she's tired of me,
I just tried to find myself,
And found out I was a catastrophe,
Now I question my morality,
I'm testing my mortality,
Did the same **** a hundred times,
The definition of insanity,
Nothing ever changed,
Never listened to suggestions,
Went searching for the answers,
But never asked the questions,
Never questioned my decisions,
Looking back,
I should have noticed my deficience,
Became a man out of requirement,
Nicotine so gripping,
Might not make it to retirement,
am I product of procrastination,
Or of my environment,
Haven't found my path,
Haven't found my purpose,
These are submerged thoughts,
That might not ever surface,
But here's to my persistence,
Which always makes me,
Improve on my existence,
And I know these thoughts are existential,
But without them,
I would squander my potential,
And if not for this nocturnal anxiety,
Who would listen to the boy,
Deemed an outcast by society.
All a man has,
beyond material things,
and ideas invented,
is his word,
a declaration of his reputation,
not pride,
nor hubris,
and i’ll confide,
that i’ve done the worst,
went back,
on promised words,
to do a deed so treacherous,
like a sinner so lecherous,
I promised the world,
but gave her naught in return,
and now i wish,
if my word was more than rotten fish,
because I’ve repented,
all I’ve done to her,
I’ve resented,
but if she leaves,
i’ll be demented,
lost and tormented,
but now i promise,
it it means anything at all,
that i’ll do my best,
to treat you fairly,
to love you dearly,
drink less,
and wake up early,
i know i’ve promised to change,
and in exchange you accepted,
you loved, and I neglected,
you reached out to me,
most violent of storms,
and I respect it,
but please,
and i do this with unease,
will you believe in me again,
like so many years before this day,
and you remember,
a fateful day in September,
when we were young,
and we talked way past your bedtime,
a stolen kiss after midnight,
two separate hands joining into one,
one young boy,
and a girl that deserved better,
have lasted half a decade,
here’s to five more,
and greater expectations,
here’s to you firstly,
and to us secondly,
because presently,
you’re the glue in this relation,
the rule in the equation,
without you,
I am clay unmolded,
a boy with no ambition,
a man lost on expedition,
love me for my word,
love me for my sin,
love me for my laughter,
and my spontaneity
because i am mortal and make mistakes,
because I cook like Bobby Flay,
drink like Hemingway,
smoke like a chimney,
and curse like a sailor,
because I read past midnight,
and play video games way too much,
because you showed me what loves is,
when no one else would look at me,
now look at me,
love me because no one else does,
and no one else will love you like I do.
A Lyrical criminal,
With subliminal syllables,
Misunderstood verses,
Like satirical miracles,
Cynical, whimsical,
dope since they snipped the umbilical,
Left butts in the ******,
They'll throw butts at my funeral,
They'll ash squares on my casket,
Be surprised that I lasted,
Its only logical,
I wasn't infallible,
My rhymes never laudable,
Fictitional thoughts of wisdom,
Had friends, now I miss them,
He had friends that dissed him,
Text inbox full of pardons,
Littered cartons on the stoop,
The prophet hiding in his coop,
No kids,
Gonna get a coupe,
Stupid with the vocabulary,
Had a fight the first of January,
She said I ruined new years,
Blanket full of salt tears,
Had fears of her leaving,
These words have no meaning,
These verses are cursed,
She said I'm the worst,
I think she's the best,
I'll give it a rest,
The bird left his nest,
Before he was ready,
Clipped his wings in the fall,
And now he's unsteady.
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