What should you do when you're not good enough.
When you've never been good enough to reach any goal and nothing is expected of you anymore.
What should you do if you want someone so badly and they don't want you.
When you're not what they look for. When they don't see you the way you see them.
What should you do when you can't concentrate.
When there's someone clouding your heart so heavily that even breathing is a burden when working against the force weighing your chest down.

Do you run away from it all?
Where do you go?
Can I come with you?

It's beginning to become to much for me. All these feelings of mediocrity taking over a heart that already felt incompetent.
I don't know that I'll be able to survive this one.
It hurts more deeply that the others.
It's a new feeling in itself and I'm not strong enough to last.
I thought I was strong.
And they thought in was strong.

I told you that I could take the pain.

I've never lied so blatantly before.

I did it to reassure you.
To make you feel at ease at my own expense.
It feels like everything has been at my expense lately.
While I'm falling apart from both the inside and the outside and I have no one.
I have no one and I've never really had anyone.

Who would be offended if I ended my life. Would you blame yourselves? Or would you say it was unfortunate but you saw it coming?

I just want you. I don't need anything else. I just need to get this weight off of my heart before it eats me up and I lose control.

I just want to cry.