I wake up
The perfect imbalance waiting for me
                                          The judge speaks
“Did you love?”
                  Yes, but not how you wanted me to love
                   Not in a way that would make them happy
                  In a way that was mine- and only mine
                  And though I wanted to scream I never made a sound
“Did you hate?”
                  Oh, with all my heart,
                   But never for long and I would
                   Forgive and forget and forgive and forget
                   And I would direct the hate inwards above all
                   Untamed and with no remorse
“Do you pray?”
                   Occasionaly, though not to a god, for they never listen
                   Not even to the saints or the holy spirit.
                    I learned my lesson a long time ago. I pray nevertheless.
“Do you deserve to be saved?”
                    I don’t know
                    To be perfectly honest I wouldn’t save myself
                    But some would give up anything to save me
                    And I can’t omit that

I wake up.