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Feb 2020
You, long ago, sutured the holes in your heart
with twine you braided from you own hair, you
dried your eyes on the soft part of your wrist and promised
that saltwater and daydreams would be the only things
you’d touch it with.

Trying to iron the wrinkles out of your skin has never worked before
and it won’t work now,
you know that,
but you have a steamer in your hand and a breach in your stitches,
so maybe it won’t be that way this time.

Emptiness is the only way you know how to be.
Or, maybe,
you thought you’d finally closed the hole
only to find that it was a shoddy job at best
and an act of sabotage at worse.

You know who the saboteur is. Don’t you?

The lump in your throat goes supernova, stealing
your breath.
Why can’t it take everything else, too?
You used to say you never cried but now there’s an ocean in your eyes
and sea levels are rising,

You are a mish-mash of messed up, mixed up metaphors and
whipstitches that are losing their stick,
rip them off one by one and see what happens,
but don’t you dare act surprised
when you don’t find anything inside.

Can you even bleed anymore? Answer honestly.
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again
and expecting different results.”
Einstein said that.
Well, you say he was wrong.

You know that’s not true. But you don’t know anything anymore, do you?
Sawyer
Written by
Sawyer  21/Genderqueer
(21/Genderqueer)   
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