I watch my wife swim As she cuts through water like a knife And remember my privets need a trim She’s done breast stroke all her life A champion in the blue But a disaster in the household I guess it’s something Ive always knew If truth be told Watching her frolic in the water Doing length after length after length I realise family ignorance Is possibly her biggest strength She smiles at the young men Don’t recall her smiling at me I just take her at nine thirty in the morning And pick up her up at twenty past three Today it’s all going to change Cause today I’m going for broke Whilst I arrange our divorce She’ll carry on doing the breast stroke