It’s the end
Or at least it’s coming soon
Hopefully
The bomb has gone off
And only I am left
Because I pushed everyone away
I’m swimming in regret
I’m drowning in self-hatred
Because If I would have spoken up sooner
Nothing would be bad
If I had only done something
I literally didn’t do anything
At all
I stood there
I let it happen
I let him hurt me
And I was embarrassed
To tell
I was afraid that if I didn’t do what he wanted me too
That he would take away my toys and yell at me
How stupid does that sound?
He takes away my computer privileges
And my DS
THAT’S what I was concerned about
THAT is why I didn’t move
Because I was afraid to get yelled at
So I let him touch my body
When I didn’t want him too
I was young and very very dumb
Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to live
Because maybe I’m so damaged
I could never make someone happy
I could never be happy myself
I have thoughts like that all the time
But I know I can’t act on them
Even though I want to
I’m just struggling right now
I don’t know
But I can’t sleep
I have nightmares about what happened
About the occurrences
About everything that's happened