How come you turned me into this:

sneaking around corners
childishly peeking through open windows
so as not to be seen
in an unfit state?

walking too fast and breathing
to slow to keep up with my racing heart
in my chest?

talking to myself when nobody looks
and fearing the nooks and crannies
you might be hiding in?

circulating around the same thought
over and over again
and forgetting what brought us here:

all beauty and lightness gone
all that uplifted us both,
done away with and over
and wiped out for now-

and all of this because I-
because I-

am lost for words all the time
and always-
and even in rhymes I won't find a solution
that could possibly put an end
to all this-

or a beginning.