Sometimes I wish that I could keep every promise I've made.

When i told you that i was gonna give you the world and nothing less, i gave you MY world. And the realization that my world was too much and not enough at the same time has just hit me so hard that it makes me ache inside. I just feel like you’re gone for a reason. You’re gone because you can’t stand the person that i used to be and probably still am, but that’s okay. I can’t change how you feel, I can only tell you how i feel… and man.. What i would do to get you back..

It’s almost been 11 months and I am just so full of doubt that i’m ever going to get better. Because wow. All i ever wanted was for the both of us to be happy, but i guess we’re both not. Or at least that’s what i want to believe. I really want my baby back. I want to be able to call you and talk to you and hear you breathe. I want to know that you’re okay and that you’re mentally functioning in a stable way. I just want to be able to look you in your eyes again. That is all.

To be able to constantly feel like trash. To be able to constantly feel like just straight garbage because I know that deep down, me giving you MY world is what ruined us. Me, showing you my life and all that it had to offer just weighed you down. It’s crazy how you go insane over the fact that my life ruined you, but how do you think it’s treating me if we almost think the same. We couldn’t be any different for facing things as they came. Where are you now, though? Still with me, probably. Because the person in your body right now is not who you are or should be. That is not my baby. And i want my baby back to me.