the world renowed english: black humour... schwarzhumor... better known by its "high german" - alt-vater-zunge... schadenfreude term... perhaps this anglo-slav of me always found an iron maiden of self-censorship to never allow myself a pleaßure from this... "sense of humor"... it's not that i'm gripped with either sympathy or empathy - i guess i am... more or less: arms tied... pretending to be a rock or a ghost when... we shared a laugh: once upon a time... when one of us was kicked in the *****... or the football came full force in a football match against the genitalia... or how i was so wrapped up in reading a newspaper while walking... i'd walk into a lampost... it's not laughing at misfortune is general... it's a quick-equipped circumstance of slapstick humor... the base instinct... almost paranoid in waiting... because you suspect the universe to find the counter joke... of close proximity karma... you laugh nervously... because: the 12th rule for life... sorry... can anyone translate the fact that petting a cat in a street... is by far the hardest rule "for life"... that cats do not come with: readily petted... by strangers... unless... so unloved by their owners they become "missing"... lost dogs and "missing" cats... a cat is never missing... i own two cats = i vacuum the house every, single, ******* day... sometimes i'm vacuuming spare air... but i always wish for vacuuming to be fishing-esque... the need for the house to be clean... shedded-furr-free is... almost compulsive... but it's necessary... it's not that ****** easy to pet a cat in the street... it's too obscure to be a rule... dumb dog will be whipped and either turn around and bite... or further his nostalgia for the all-loved-puppy... distrustful creatures... these cats... a black cat crosses your path... the number 13... bad luck... elsewhere... not here: not with me... it's hardly a rule... because it can't be kept: no random cat is willing to be petted by a stranger on the street... first of all... you need to walk the streets at night... but this is about... never being inclined to entertain schadenfreude... among the western slavs... the polacks... there's only plainsight jealousy... i can stretch my palette when it comes to the english schwarzhumor: the ridicule and the terse accounts... and the bombast... i can entertain this dry scrutiny: cptn. obvious in tow... but the old rhine black forest humour? schadenfreude... i actually find it less difficult to avoid encountering this mild sadism... what's harder? faking apathy... because when confronted with having to disguise either empathy or sympathy... is much harder than to give way to schadenfreude... back into the co-ordination of a self: your self: reflective - yourself: the reflexive... it's a balancing act... and it's near impossibility of stratifying "neuter"... well... apathy - what a paradoxical word - a bit like psychopath - the pathology associated with the existence of a soul - psychopathy and exclusive materialism... apathy: to be freed from all and any pathology is a pathology per se: which is apathy... it's this automated "free ride" that drags along minor details... posists spotting microaggressions... you see them... for your own pleaßure... since there's no major hinderence... no clarified pathos - no obliterating ****** impetus - the middle-ground: no-man's-land... i currently have a cold - that famous... voltaire definition of living in england: the forever-cold... the bounty of living on an island... premature arthritis and constant colds... away from the dry air compensations of continental air... sure... it does rain on the continent... but you're not surrounded by water all the time! perhaps the + is that... given so much water around... the daytime hours come sooner during the winter months... than they do on the continent... it's this... ******* island damp! but - in all honesty... a cold is a welcome period of: immediate discomfort... with immediate remedies at hand... discomfort as: less lethargy and more nausea... i know the signs of this minor discomfort... all i have to look at is... the uvula... i know i'm in the chicken-shack enclosure of the common, mundane cold: ad nauseam when the uvula... is... not swollen... but elongated... seemingly dripping... when the uvula is touching the tongue when the mouth is open... i know i have been infected by a common discomfort... would this ever stop me drinking? hardly... but tonight... no need to walk the labyrinth of the outer english suburbian streets looking for cats and foxes "to pet"... the third tonsil is still in place - it almost looks like a overtly-wrinkled nutmeg stone... and it protrudes itself in the gob when an automated reaction to regurgitation plays a role... from the days when i used to mind my weight and physique... also having succumbed to classical bulimia (roman) - or eating and then regurgitating what i ate... ******* down the throat at first... until the oesophagus was properly trained... but an uvula that's "trickling" down... like a mama goat's ****** that has been ****** off too many times... and is lazily agitating the tongue it rests on... then i know i have a common cold... i experienced schadenfreude once... but it was the immediacy that surrounded it... it became an outburst of laughter: spontaneously or rather: if i were th lucky man, wearing a top hat or a bowler... walking through trafalgar sq. and having a pigeon **** on it... but there's a doubled problem surrounding schadenfreude... these days... it's a humour associated: brooding-over... or like reading a charles dickens novel... something bogus like so... it's hardly married to the child of spontaneity... or the reflexive invitation: like water, most unstoppable... humour in a sense: pickling cucumbers so that they become gherkins... those tiny little oddities of the kingdom of... the vegetative state of affairs... i don't know why i would enjoy this... ancient (not so primitive) sense of humour... today i finally realised working my way around the alarm clock... and what a beautiful morning it was... being woken up with music... full blast: american head charge's debut album... rather than some alien sound of gongs and castrated gods, or sparrows... a tonne of elephant **** landed in my room and i became chirpy like a sparrow without... what those gypsies get up to: sing-along *******: happy r.e.m. - peoples of the world: disunite... two jokes: why do italian men grow moustaches? so they can look like their mothers... nick nolte: head full of honey... decent film... joke no. 2... why are all german jokes... it's better than these people have a car to export... there is no german joke... little brother england - the expansion of saxony is one thing... but hearing a pomeranian joke is... watching the ******* tide becomes funnier the minute i close my eyes and imagine: the need to blink upon opening my eyes again... this lazy uvula... soar throat... more like: the uvula made a bed from the tongue and forgot to dangle: my mouth the church bell: the uvula the gong... but not this lounging... *****-****** ****** off too many times: milking cow ******* thrice daily state of sick... common sick... boring sick... where the everest of the major discomforts... like the ghost leg of an amputee? teasing fate? fun out of what? low i.q. or... karma-paranoia? choice of words... lepidopterological ask: a cloud of: e d r a b n o r i h m p w: red baron whimp... this... monolingual fetish for... best we not learn another tongue in fear of becoming schizoprenic / bilingual... need fortifications! anagrams and crosswords! the trouble of meeting an english native-speaker half-way... you'll never meet an english native-speaker half-way... either way or no way... a rare event... sooner coming across a polyglot or a polymath than a willing... native bilingual... greenwich meridian: bellybutton people of the world: the center of attention! even if the natives go against the welsh... from the outside looking in? not that many compliments going to scotland... gaelic somewhat: more like mostly: the trajectory of: but we kept the accents the hark-and-harking-sense of sing-along: tweed and tartan! yes... but the welsh... kept... llachar coch llaчar coх (cyrillics borrowed)... or llakhar (kh - к) coх... draig... gwyn heddwch (hedłх) rhag uchod... gwyrdd porfeydd isod... dazzling red dragon: white tranquilty from above... green pastures below... not so much can be said about the scots: who "forgot" gaelic... mainstream... but: och! the glaswegian accent! mein herr! what a bounty! i have a real problem with schadenfreude... i don't know... perhaps... i never appreciated the joke of: having to walk in someone else's shoes: literally... if they are too big: the sensation of walking the clown's walk on a ground littered with dead squid... slipping but not slipping... otherwise the cramp and "claustrophobia" of being a tip-toeing geisha... or something from that chinese nightmare of the lotus feet of the Song and Qing dynasties... called: lotus feet... more like... pork-stilletos choppers... you can almost spot a hoof in this man-made deformity... blah blah all you want about the superiority of the chinese ideograms: dear ezra... sure... a chinese ideogram as... a brick to be lent in building the great wall... against the mongol... but... at the end? what's being said: the crude syllable: chin chong shin diggy diggy.