Spent so much time
being angry at you for leaving
I didn’t realize how much sadness
I’ve been carrying ever since
and I know
I’m so bad at staying consistent
vulnerability doesn’t come easy to me anymore
I feel weak
whenever I let down a wall
open a window
or a door
and
no one ever really gets in
if they do, it’s right before they’re leaving
because time and time again I’m shown
that I’m only here to change a man’s life
not stay in it
thirsty for me to inspire it
to mystify it
to entertain ****
help you see what you’re worth
dig into your layers running deeper than the earth’s
I’m not here to be a muse
without reciprocation of inspiration infused
don’t tell me I’m interesting
and then never ask me anything
I want someone to dig into my layers
like I dig into theirs
but
everyone only stays on the surface
they want to observe me
lay within me
take my vibe in without any hassle
my roots are just as important as my petals
you make it to my soil and you want a medal
that’s something I just don’t have time for
Regardless
I still never wanted you to leave
but I know I make it easy
I want to feel safe enough
to warm up to someone
eventually