The Mafia and the Pope

the Italian mafia wanted to take control
they wanted control of the church and all its wealth
the leader Anthony “The Boss” Gambatti sent his muscle
to secure an audience with the Pope

Johnny “the Eye” and his storm troopers
pushed by the guards
into the Pope's secretary's office
Arch Bishop Spinozza
sprung to his feet to confront the noise
Johnny “the Eye”, he got that name
after he lost his left eye in a knife fight
and replaced it with a glass oversized eye
that always looked straight ahead

a burning cigarette hanging from his lips
he got right in the Bishops face
“The Boss” wants a meeting with his Royalness
“and he wants it now”
the Bishop well aware of his visitors
and there violent ways
backing away from the smoke in his face
told Johnny that he would arrange a meeting
“tomorrow” he said “tomorrow”

Johnny cocked his head
so that his large fake eye was an inch from
the Bishops nose
flicked the ashes from his cigarette
on the shoes of the Bishop
turning to walk away
“tomorrow” he said

Anthony “The Boss”
dressed in his fine 5K Italian silk suit
leather gloves
black silk fedora
accompanied by his entourage'
walked into the Popes office the next day
he sat in a chair in front of the Pope's desk
“What can I do for you Anthony?” asked the Pope
the two had grown up as school mates
and had maintained a relationship
though not close

“Carlos, I think it is time we work out
a financial aggreement with each other”
“being that the church is known for giving,
I think it is time for you to give me some money,
a lot of money”
  “I have many expenses to address”

“to insure that this happens”
I want you to make love to a woman”

“and if I refuse such a horrid task? quizzed the Pope

“I will begin removing all of your Bishops,
one every hour, from all over the world”
”and it won't be pretty” responded Anthony

The Pope, obviously shaken with the proposal
got up from his chair, his face in his hands
paced back and forth for a few minutes

“I will agree to your disgusting request
on three conditions” said the Pope.

“and what are those conditions?” asked Anthony

“1st  this woman must be blind,
so that she cannot see who defiles her body”

“2nd  this woman must be deaf,
so that she cannot hear any hint of who defiles her body”

“and 3rd your holiness?”

“3rd, this woman must have really really *******”

Gomer Lepoet...