the hair lands, making black rings in the bathroom
it looks longer when it's severed
more alive on the floor than it ever was on my head
somehow more elegant framing the tile than my face

i just looked
not meeting my eyes in the mirror

when it was all gone
out of sight down the drain, or in the trash
i finally looked at myself

nothing softening my face
nothing distracting from my harsh features
nothing covering up my insecurities
nothing to hide my fear

but this way
it feels real