I wanted you more than i wanted myself. Forever waiting for your hesitant return.
But you are not a man i know anymore. Who even are you? Where have you gone?
I search for you in lovers eyes, hoping you'll validate my existence. And now waiting is all i know.
He called once to tell me that he was no good for me. He sounded just like you over the phone. My voice cracked out a tear filled request begging, yet another man, to stay where he did not want to.
And nothing ever stops you from leaving. Over and over. Not even love. How do they know where to find the wound? What beacon are they following?
Or has this **** in my psyche been bleeding this whole time. Alerting these predators that i am not fine. Giving them a map to my weaknesses, showing them exactly where to tear. How to rip me open and spoon me out.
My heart drifts to a place i no longer understand. A place i called home, especially when i held your hand. And when i close my tear stained eyes, I see a terrified seven year old being swallowed up, by a darkness she did not mean to create, screaming at the top of her lungs