Back here

Where we lived for years,
I walked home
The way we used to walk home,
Under the softening cloak of years.

Funny, how memory
Is shaped and reshaped
By our moods.

Today,
I was upbeat.
But that is an understatement.

Once more,
The images of happier times
When we were content...
No, changed that to happy,
Simply being able to eat
At SM's food court
Caught me unawares.
The laughter.
The joy.
The delight in simple comforts.

But upbeat turns to downbeat.

Where have they all gone?

Now, i can treat us
To the best fine dining restaurant in town.
Order the best course it could offer
And not mind how our bottom line will be affected.
Take us to places undreamed of before
Which i know would fill your heart with joy.

There were things i know
I caused you pain.
Terrible.
Insufferable.
But we were able to go through that.

If only you had waited,
Had not been afraid what might happen
Back here in our country,
Me being over-aged apparently
For any good job to come.

If you have not doubted
That the Lord knows best.

Perhaps,
Just perhaps,
We might still be together
Smiling at how things turned out
In a way we never thought of.
The way things turned out
Unexpectedly before
That made us marvel
At how God works,
At how better things
Were arranged for us.

At how God answered our prayers
So that even those who didn't believe
Rejoiced with us.
Jokingly said that they
Would start praying too.

Perhaps,
we would be laughing hard
At how sillly we were
To ever worry.
To ever doubt.

Back here in a place
You didn't want to leave before.
Back here were painful memories
And beautiful remembrances converge.

Back here.