We sit in a comfortable silence.
He is preoccupied with something
in his hands and I sit watching him
and smiling. He looks up at me.

What is it? he asks.
You're just so goofy. I answer.
I do not tell him how amusing and childlike
his laughter is or how adorable his simpleness is to me.

Yeah, that's just me, he answers back.

Another comfortable silence.
He looks at me with a smile in his eyes.
What are you thinking of? he asks.

Why didn't we work?
What did I do wrong?
Would we have lasted?

Did you mean all the things you said
once upon a time or was I just a moment
of weakness and blind want for you?

Want me.
Miss me.
Hug me.
Hold me.
Need me.

Love me.

I've missed this comfortable silence,
these meaningful yet insignificant conversations,
your presence and your essence and your everything.

I don't know what I want anymore
but I know it's not you.
It's just something about you that I can't
seem to let go of easily.

I miss you. Please stay.

But reality steps in
and I am back again.

He looks at me with a smile in his eyes.
What are you thinking of? he asks.

Nothing, I'm just so tired, I answer.

He begins to sing and his voice is heaven.
I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink.
I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink.
I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink.

I consider singing along, but I just want to listen and smile.
You know that one, right? I nod and he grins.

Another comfortable silence.
I begin to realize that the next time we meet
he will probably have forgotten all about this conversation
and he may not speak to me at all.

So I sit there and decide to make the moment last,
lingering in my laughter and reveling in the moment.

Yet another comfortable silence.
What am I thinking of?
*He doesn't need to know.