Today you came back.
Just like old times,
you said with a smile.

Seeing you across the table
the way you used to be,
I was forced to remember
that at that table, you and I
used to share glances and hugs
and smiles and stolen moments.

I was forced to remember the way
it rained on that very first day back at the
start of January and we were forced
to stand because the tables were all wet.

I was forced to remember how you'd
held me in your arms and wouldn't let go
and I was forced to remember how I really
didn't want you to at all.

I was forced to remember how we were
everybody's ever after, everybody's meant to be
and nobody's disappointment except our own.

And then I was forced to acknowledge the words
that have been hanging on the tip of my tongue.
All this time I've thought of saying them, but then you
would know the truth and I couldn't let that happen.

All this time I've wanted to say,
I miss him being here, with us
laughing and joking, sharing his smile
and his music and his dreams.
I miss him being here, making things
interesting, amusing us all and me
especially.

And I contemplated telling someone
but I feared you would find out.

I'm glad you came back for today.
I hope you don't leave again too soon.
And for making me admit this,
I guess this round goes to you.



You know you guys love me,
you said smiling.
Sometimes, I said sarcastically.
Sometimes, you repeated with a smile.