Me: So Mike, tell us a little bit about yourself...

MH: You should know that...your me.

Me: I know but I'm interviewing you...

MH: Isn't that a bit odd?

Me: Yes but your to lazy and cheap to hire anyone and we both know you'd have to pay someone because no one is that interested in you...
I'm you and I'M not that interested.

MH: You do have a point there!

Me: Okay...shall we start over? Are you ready to dive in deep?

MH: You bet!

Me: If you could be any color you wanted...what color would that be?

MH: Wow! You don't play games! That is deep! Can I get back to you with that?

Me: Sure....but you know me.

MH: Yes I do Mike and that's just one of the many things I admire about you.

Me: Why thank you Mike!

Me: How about, if you were a tree....

MH: Woah....Your blowing my mind here!

Me: How about we start with something simple....Can you remember the first poem you wrote?

MH: Not line for line but I do remember it was in the 7th grade to my first girlfriend...something about her turning around and seeing the boy in love with her...
Of course that boy was me.
I'm sure it also had lines in there about her flaming red hair and massive freckles and who doesn't love those! Her name was Fresca Schmertz....a true beauty!

Me: That's great but could you keep your answers short? We don't want to lose the readers...

MH: Yes

Me: Good...so how long after that did you discover you were an amazingly talented poet (his words, not mine)

MH: Yes

Me: Yes...what.

MH: You asked me to keep my answers short....so I am

Me: But that's not really an answer.

MH: Okay, then maybe

Me: Maybe?!  That doesn't even make any sense! This just isn't going to work!

MH: I think its going great for someone who's talking to them self....

Me: Arghhhh!!!

To be continued?