hm.
it's may 7th,
isn't it?
12:01am
on the dot.
i forgot...
today is my birthday
today i am twenty
years
old
and i don't
feel a thing.
i am often alarmed
frightened
confused
by my lack of feeling
and everyone says
it has something to do
with depression
hell,
i don't know.

i always used to get
some little tingle
some little thrill
of excitement...
it's my birthday!!!
i'd think...
even last year
the first year
without mom
without anything
normal
i still felt
something...
but there is
nothing.
in fact
i would have forgotten
if some random *** girl
i haven't talked to in two years
hadn't just texted me
happy birthday...

...happy birthday,
littleredwritinghood...
maybe this year you'll get what you want
i'd really enjoy
some arsenic
this time around
i wonder what death feels like
maybe i'll actually feel something
for
once
i guess it's worth a shot