So basically the secret fear that I've been harboring and is preventing me from being completely positive is the idea that I'll never love someone as much as I love/loved you. While you're living in happiness and love, I'll still be looking comparing each one to you. I'll question myself should I give in and confess all my built up nerves, thoughts, and frustrations hoping you'll give me something that will guide me in the right direction. But I answer my questions with "it'll never happen. let it go. how much rejection will you take?" I don't know. I'm teetering between oblivion and rejection scared of what you'll think of me. And I cushion my potential fails with excuses such as "I just want to be friends" or "I just miss your conversation" to hide my love. I just wanna know what really happened and if I even matter. I know I don't not nearly as much as I used to. I wonder if you even think of me. Speak now or forever hold your peace they said. I'm afraid to speak because I fear a response that won't lead me to peace..