I chase the passionless feelings
full of delirious thoughts
and hopings
of a better anything something everything
to oil down my hinges
as my bones squeak
like rusty doors
held open too long,
to color me in lights
reading the scars I've learned to hide
beneath a smile
and fluttering eyes.

I run in circles loving and lusting
for a condition
wanting under all conditions,
seeing the falter of my thoughts
run
away from my grasp
and hold on
to nothing worth loving
and living lies
so grandeur,
envious when they feel no envy.

Not really sure what's come over me,
as my shadows wish to detach
and I stand there
waiting
for them to come haunt me--

They never do.