My friend asked me
"What would you have done if she'd gone?"
I sighed, played with my food for a second, and then sighed again.
"Rachel, what would you have done? Would you **** yourself as well?"
I looked up at her from my plate and the tears started flowing.
"I don't think I'd be able to live anymore, with that guilt, with the pain. I feel like life wouldn't go on without her here."

She sighed and told me she wouldn't have the guts to do the same.
I told her I think I wouldn't have the courage at first, but then I'd
Live with the pain too long and
Finally just *crack.